This Is What It’s Really Costing Me: My MSW Journey at Morgan State University

In Fall 2024, I got accepted into the MSW program at Morgan State University.

I deferred it to Fall 2025.

At the time, that felt like strength. Like wisdom. Like I was being responsible.

But if I’m honest? Part of it was fear. Fear of whether I could really carry everything at once.

Now I’m in my second semester of my first year.

And I carry it anyway.

This program is rigorous in ways people don’t see.

It’s the heavy reading after you’ve already had a full day. It’s writing papers when your brain feels done. It’s participating in discussions about trauma while managing your own. It’s holding space for clients during your 16-hour-a-week unpaid internship watching, listening, learning until you reach 200 hours. Showing up even when you feel stretched thin.

And then going home and still being needed.

There are night classes. There are parent-teacher conferences where I’m smiling but calculating deadlines in my head. There are school trips I show up to tired but present. Doctor’s appointments. Cooking dinner. Cleaning up. Trying to carve out 20 minutes of “me” without feeling guilty.

There are nights I cry quietly because I’m exhausted in a way that isn’t physical. It’s mental. Emotional. Spiritual.

I’ve missed trips I wanted to take. I’ve watched other people move freely while I move strategically. I’ve had moments where I questioned if I’m allowed to want rest this badly and success at the same time.

And yet.

Every week in my internship, I meet clients who remind me why I’m here. I see systems up close. I see the gaps. I see the humanity. And I feel myself changing.

The professors? They push. They don’t let you stay surface-level. And somewhere between the long lectures and hard feedback, you start to grow. You start to think differently. You start to carry the title before you’ve even earned it.

If you’re in a program like this, here’s what I’ve learned:

You need a strong why. Because motivation fades. Your why has to be deeper than excitement.

You need boundaries.

Not suggestions boundaries.

You cannot save everyone and pass your classes. You can’t pour from an empty cup and write a 10-page paper.

And you have to accept that this season will cost you something.

Time.

Comfort.

Spontaneity.

Ease.

I am a little sad sometimes. I won’t lie about that.

But I’m also becoming.

I’m becoming more disciplined.

More aware.

More empathetic.

More grounded.

I’m 25% done.

And some days that feels small.

But most days, it feels like proof that I didn’t let fear win.

I’m tired.

I’m stretched.

I’m proud.

And I’m not quitting.